Years ago, I signed up for a coaching program, back when I first got interested in real estate investing as a side hustle. After I registered, I received a gift in the mail – a framed quote from Tony Robbins that said, “It’s in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.”
At the time, I was still working my day job, with no thoughts of quitting in order to start a real estate business. Destiny? I mean, I guess real estate investing could be part of my destiny. At that time, the quote was nice, but I didn’t think much of it.
Fast forward to just a few months later. I had spent the last several weeks waking up at ungodly early hours in order to make progress on the real estate investing course in the mornings before my kids – then ages 4 and 1 – would clamor out of bed.
Over the weeks, I’d developed a passion for real estate investing and really started to consider whether I could do it full time, starting a business (which I’d never done before) to help others invest alongside me.
One day, sitting at my kitchen table, I experienced it. That moment of decision. I was at the precipice of deciding whether to continue in my nice safe six-figure-with-full-benefits job, or to rip away the safety net to venture into the world of entrepreneurship.
It was in that moment, that moment of deciding whether to stay or to go, that I truly chose and shaped my destiny. As I write this, it’s been over five years since that moment at my kitchen table, when I decided to quit my job to start that real estate business, and I couldn’t be more grateful for the wild adventure I’ve been on ever since.
Had I not taken that leap, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to become a business owner, and I wouldn’t have come to the realization that entrepreneurship is truly the best fit for me.
Perhaps you’re at that precipice right now, and you’re wondering whether you should stay in your job or pursue something different. It can be utter turmoil, the not knowing. That can’t-move-forward-but-can’t-go-back state of being. You want to know the answer already, and you wish someone would just tell you what to do.
But I’ll do you one better. I’ll walk you through a clear step-by-step framework for determining whether your current role is salvageable and can become your dream job with a few tweaks, or whether it’s truly time to move on.
Your Current State
You probably wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t desire a change of some sort. Even if you consider your job “good” or perfectly “fine,” something called you to read this article.
Maybe your passion and fire aren’t there anymore. Maybe you wake up every morning dreading the start of your work day. Or maybe you’re just bored and thirsting for more.
Whether you’re actively looking for a new job, considering putting some feelers out there, or wondering whether you should double down in your current role, job transitions are perfectly normal, especially as you, your interests, and your goals continue to change and evolve.
The fact that you’re here and acknowledge that something may be “off” shows tremendous self-awareness and courage. At the end of the day, you may discover it’s time for a complete overhaul of everything, or perhaps just a small mindset shift will help turn that inner frown upside down.
Start By Finding What’s Right
These days, it can be easy to focus on what’s missing, not only with your job but in all areas of your life. This can often be an unconscious habit that happens as a result of micro-comparisons for how much better other people seem to be doing, at least according to their social media pages.
Thus, the first step is to bring this discomfort or uncertainty around your job into your conscious awareness, and to take a moment – no matter how ready you may feel to leave your job – to find what’s working and what’s right, to determine if your current job is at all salvageable.
Your Vision Statement
I’ll venture to guess that if you’re reading this, you’re likely not one to clock in and clock out. Your work means something deeper to you than just a paycheck, and you long for the opportunity to make a difference in the world.
The problem is, especially when work gets stressful, it can be easy to lose sight of that overall vision and purpose that connects what you do on a day-to-day basis to the impact you’re making in the world.
You might be thinking…
- I’m just a landscaper, I spend all day weeding people’s lawns, and they probably don’t even notice.
- I’m just a barista, I spend all day making coffee for people who are in a hurry.
- I’m just a software engineer on a team of hundreds. I spend all day coding, only to make tiny incremental improvements in apps people don’t even use.
However, I challenge you to take a moment to see if you can reimagine your role and your vision for the impact you’re making. It might not be easy, but this exercise can be very telling.
Just as an entrepreneur sits down to create a vision statement before starting a business, I challenge you to create your own vision statement. Here’s a simple template: “In my role as ________, I help people _______ so that they can ________.”
Taking the examples from above, you might reimagine them as such:
- In my role as a landscaper, I help homeowners maintain beautiful outdoor spaces so they can enjoy their homes and time with their families.
- In my role as a barista, I help busy people experience a moment of quiet comfort in their days so they can be their best selves.
- In my role as a software engineer, I help build cutting edge tech solutions so that people feel more supported and connected in their day-to-day lives.
You get the idea. Take your current role and see if you can connect it to the bigger picture of how you’re helping others through what you do.
If this is challenging for you, take your time with it. Whether you decide to stay in this role or not, being able to connect what you do with the greater mission is a very valuable skill.
Once you’ve got your vision statement, sit with it for a bit. Does it breathe new life into your role and help you see the day-to-day minutiae in a different light? If so, perhaps there’s something there worth salvaging.
What’s Working In Your Job
Another area to examine is what’s actually working in your job right now. Often, when something is amiss, our tendency is to focus on all the things that are wrong or not working, which can lead to a quick downward spiral. After all, if you’re looking for all the things that are wrong with your job, you’ll find them, guaranteed.
But before you toss your job aside for the next exciting venture, take a moment to see if there’s anything in your job that’s currently working for you, to give you a full picture of your role.
Is there anything in your current job that excites you or that you look forward to? What’s your favorite part of what you get to do?
And what if you did leave – is there anything about your job or team that you would miss? Is there anything you currently do that you wish you could do more of? What about your job are you grateful for?
Grab a piece of paper, set a timer for five minutes, and see if you can list as many good things about your job as you can. This doesn’t mean that you’re abandoning the idea of quitting your job; this is just a quick assessment of whether your job is truly as bad as you think it might be.
At the end of the five minutes, examine what you’ve written. Is there anything on your paper that is worth fighting for or that has changed your mindset (even if by a smidge) about your job? If so, consider taking some time to reflect on your own or talk with your supervisor about how to make changes to your role to amplify those good things.
Having managed teams myself, I can tell you that I always appreciate it when team members come to me with their own insights and reflections about what’s working and not working for them in their roles. So if there’s anything worth salvaging, take a chance and talk to your manager about it. Who knows? Maybe one small conversation could change your entire role.
Eliminating Burnout As A Potential Source
Another possibility, especially if you’re having trouble finding anything you like about your current role, is that you could be burned out. When your own energy reserves are depleted, whether due to demands of your job or personal life, it can be easy to point fingers at the thing that you spend 8 hours a day on.
To truly determine whether it’s your job itself that’s the issue or whether burnout is coloring your outlook, start by finding small ways throughout the day to fill up your own cup.
This can be as simple as stepping outside for a breath of fresh air before your next meeting, treating yourself to a pastry on your morning coffee run, or taking a 5-minute walk during your lunch break.
In the productivity culture we live in, it can be tempting to keep hammering away at your to-do’s without any breaks, but this can often lead to burnout, resentment, anxiety, and chronic stress.
So, before you decide to quit your job, take a week or two to add small, simple acts of self-care into your day, to make sure that burnout isn’t the issue.
When I did this, I was shocked at the huge impact that just stepping out into the sunshine for a few moments could make on my day. Trust me. Whether you ultimately decide to stay in your job or move on, you’ll be grateful you took some time for self-care.
Energy Audit
Speaking of burnout, you should know that burnout isn’t single-handedly caused by doing too much work. Rather, it’s caused by a combination of not having the right fit between what you want to do and what you have to do in your job, combined with not enough self-care and not enough social support.
In other words, if you worked 40+ hours a week on things that you loved and that gave you more energy than they took away, you likely wouldn’t be burned out. However, if you spend even 20 or 30 hours a week doing things that drain your energy, you could put yourself at greater risk of burnout.
To that end, another great way to determine whether to stay or go is to do an energy audit, which can show you how much of your day you spend doing things that your passionate about and that give you energy, and how many of the things you’re doing are draining your energy.
To do an energy audit, simply write down everything you do at work, including administrative things like answering emails, for 1 week.
At the end of each day, go back through your list for the day and determine whether each one gave you energy or took your energy away.
- If it gave you more energy, put a ‘+’ next to it.
- If it did not impact your energy, put a ‘o’ next to it.
- If it drained your energy, put a ‘-’ next to it.
At the end of the week, go back through your energy audit notes and see how many pluses and minuses you have.
Just as important, take a close look at the minuses on the list. Are these things that are part and parcel of your job (i.e., you and only you absolutely must do them as part of this role)? Or is there an opportunity to delegate or move these things off your plate over time?
If there’s any chance that you could get more pluses into your day and reduce the minuses, consider talking with your manager to see if they can help you craft a plan to fill your day with more of the things that give you energy.
Having Trouble Finding The Good?
We’ve spent a good amount of time now talking about various ways to find what’s ‘right’ with your current role – possibly something you’re reluctant to do or haven’t spent much time focusing on.
If you’ve made it this far, first of all, I commend you for being open to finding the good in your current role. It’s often tempting to want to just burn everything down and start over, but sometimes, a shift in perspective or a little self-care is all that’s needed to reignite your passion and sense of purpose.
However, if you’ve tried all the things on the list above and are still feeling like…
- Your job doesn’t light you up
- It’s hard to find anything you like about your current role
- Your job doesn’t give you a sense of purpose
- Most of the things you do drain your energy
- Your supervisor isn’t open to moving certain things off your plate
…then, perhaps your gut feeling – that you should consider leaving – could be spot on.
But, before you open a new browser window to start drafting your resignation letter, I have one more thing I think you should try. Come on, humor me.
Fears / Opportunities / Strengths
I first heard about this simple but powerful exercise on a podcast, while walking my dog, many years ago when I was thinking about quitting my job to start a business.
I went home, grabbed a sheet of paper, sat at the kitchen table, and did this exercise. Less than 10 minutes later, I was bawling my eyes out because I finally had the clarity I needed, after weeks of uncertainty and turmoil. See? Simple but powerful.
Here’s how to do this exercise for yourself. Essentially, you’re going to start by focusing on your fears as it relates to either staying or leaving your job. What are you most afraid of? Is it related to compensation? Leaving your team? Getting stuck again? Having to learn new skills?
Next, you’ll move on to Opportunities. If you were to leave your job, what opportunities would you have that you don’t have now? A different type of role? Working with a bigger company? Working with a startup? Moving to a different city?
And vice versa, if you’re deciding to stay but make some changes, what are the opportunities you have by staying and reinvigorating your role? Maybe you are close to a significant work anniversary where you might get a hefty bonus or could request a transfer to a different department.
And lastly, you’ll list out your Strengths as it relates to either staying or leaving. What strengths do you know you have that will help you succeed, whichever direction you decide to go?
Here’s a quick step-by-step recap:
Step 1
Get a sheet of paper and divide it into 3 separate sections.
Step 2
At the top of the first section, write “Fears.” Second section – “Opportunities,” third section – “Strengths.”
Step 3
Start with the Fears. Write down as many fears as you can think of related to quitting your job. When you feel complete, move on to the Opportunities section, then the Strengths section.
Once you have completed all the sections and can’t think of anything else to add, pencils down! Take a moment to review everything you’ve written in each section. Chances are, these fears and opportunities have been swimming around in your head, and when you finally see them written down, you may experience a new level of clarity.
When I did this exercise, I was so fearful of quitting my job because I was afraid of not having a steady paycheck. But once I completed the exercise and saw my meager list of fears, as compared to my overflowing list of opportunities, I knew I had no choice but to take a leap of faith.
Finding The Right Job Fit For You
Feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled in your job is never fun, but if you let it, this can be a great opportunity to learn more about yourself – what gives you energy, what drains you, your threshold for burnout, how to talk to your supervisor about tough things like this, and more.
Whether you stay in your current role or decide that it’s time to leave, taking the time to work through these exercises will help you gain the clarity you need to move forward with confidence.
For many people, career progression can be more of an art than a science, with a lot of dabbling and trial and error along the way. And if that describes your career path (or “uncareer” path, as it may be), there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Career discovery, particularly when you’re trying to discover and pursue your true passions while figuring out your greatest impact, can be a soulful journey that can lead to great fulfillment.
So, if you’re experiencing angst, confusion, or fear right now, think of it as a gift. It’s your inner self cluing you into a new level of self-awareness. If you seize this opportunity and lean into those uncomfortable feelings, you could very well catapult yourself toward a role that’s much more aligned with your soul calling.
